Saved
by sUnKiSsT
Summary: Wide eyes stare upwards, looking into almost identical green ones. He blinks, trying to focus on the face – needing to see it before he fades out. Pre 4x09. Second POV added!
1. Chapter 1

**Author:** Ashley

**Rating:** K plus, for blood.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing

**Summary:** Pre 4x09. Wide eyes stare upwards, looking into almost identical green ones. He blinks, trying to focus on the face – needing to see it before he fades out.

**Note:** This one is…well, different. Give her a try ;-)

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**Saved**

The clouds are swirling, a mass of light and dark grays, blocking out the sunlight and stealing away the warmth of a summer's day. The long grass bends with the wind, a distant fork of lightning brightening the meadow for only a brief second. It's quiet – no animals are around the isolated area, although a few bodies mar the otherwise beautiful landscape.

Bodies of those unexplained – a couple of hellhounds, made visible in death, and a little girl, her eyes both devoid of life and the white film that had covered them minutes before. Three large men lay beside the child – demons exorcised and sent back where they belong, their hosts all cold and long dead.

Blood stains the grass, soaking into the earth as it leaks from the recently dead.

As it leaks from the living.

Two brothers sit crouched together, one holding the other. One dying…and the other denying the possibility. Breathy gasps fill the air, blood seeping from his mouth and sliding down the side of his paling skin. Wide eyes stare upwards, looking into almost identical green ones. He blinks, trying to focus on the face – needing to see it before he fades out.

His head is pounding horribly, and he's pretty sure that blood is leaking out of the corners of his eyes and ears. He wants to raise a hand, swipe away the liquid – but he can't move, can barely breathe. He is being rocked gently by his brother, and the motion makes him nauseous, but he doesn't want it to stop, because it's also soothing.

Because it reminds him that his brother is with him – stayed by his side, right until the end…no matter how far off the path he may have strayed. He wants to smile at the thought, and tries to turn his lips upwards, knowing that he managed to succeed at least partially when his brother gives a wobbly smile in return.

"You're going to be okay."

The voice is rough, full of love and fear, and all he wants to do right then is listen to his brother talk forever. He wants to close his eyes and cocoon himself around the familiar voice, let it take the pains in his body away. But he keeps his lids open, because he knows that his brother will panic if he closes them.

"Just stay with me, alright? Just stay with me…"

He wants to tell his brother that he's trying – even though he knows that his fate is inevitable – but he coughs up more blood instead. He can't remember everything that happened, the last thing he can recall clearly is walking into the meadow – his brother at his side.

From there it's all just…flashes. The hounds from Hell, demon's wearing human faces, a little girl with milky eyes – her high voice sounding eerie as she laughed at them viciously. His brother had cried out in pain, and Ruby – she had been there, and had fallen – but he couldn't remember how or by whom.

_flash_

Barking. Gunfire.

_flash_

Blood. Sweat.

_flash_

Agony. Pain.

_flash_

His brother. Fear…

…and then…

There had been a white light, a light that had come from _inside_ of him. The energy has pulsed throughout his body, the feeling both painful and painless. Hot and cold. It had been unexplainable, and it had exploded out of him like a nuclear bomb. There was one thing he was sure of though – it hadn't been evil, whatever it was. Its source was not from a certain yellow eyed demon…it had been…beautiful.

Not dark and ugly, and that reassures him more than he could ever explain.

"CASTIEL!"

He blinks again, pushing the memories away and focusing back on his brother, who is still rocking him – but his eyes are darting around the meadow, desperately searching out the angel. A drop of water hits his cheek, and for one minute he thinks it's started to rain – before realizing that it had come from the man above him.

A tear, followed quickly by another.

His brother is sobbing, clutching him tightly still, and alternating between crying out the angels name and whispering soothing, choked reassurances into his ear. His desire to speak suddenly become so much more, it evolves into a _need. _He swallows back blood, eyes glittering with determination. It takes a lot of effort, but he finally manages to whisper,

"..Ddd-n."

His brother can hear his name through the garbled word, and is quick to respond, "I'm gonna get Castiel, okay? Just stay awake, he'll make you all better."

He wants to tell him that he doesn't need Castiel, doesn't need anyone but his big brother. He doesn't want anybody else. It surprises him when he discovers that he's okay with dying like this. Dying in his big brothers arms, the battle over – and feeling completely at peace with who he has become. His destiny may have been to become evil, but he had changed that.

_They _had changed that – because without his brother the outcome may have been very different.

"Can you hear me kiddo? Look at me, Sammy."

_Sammy. _Warmth swells in his chest at the familiar nickname, easing the pain by a fraction. He struggles to focus, because while he may be at peace with dying – he knows what it feels like to be the last one standing, knows the agony of being alone…and he doesn't want his brother to go through that pain – not again. Not if he can help it.

He fights, keeping his eyes focused upwards – refusing to submit to the comfort of darkness. More lightning sweeps across the sky, this time accompanied by a deep roll of thunder. It's dark, but beautiful at the same time – and it mesmerizes him.

His brother is running gentle fingers over his face, smearing away blood and swiping hair out of his eyes. A hand lightly squeezes that back of his neck, the sensation instantly transporting him back years, when he'd been a sick child without a mother. Almost always without a father.

But never without a brother. That had been the one constant thing in his life.

Several more drops of water splatter on his face, but this time he can see that it is rain. The water cools his throbbing body, and he can't help but close his eyes as he relaxes. The rain is becoming steadier as the storm grows closer, the soft sound of it hitting the ground almost as soothing as his brother's voice.

"_Please_, Sam. Open your eyes, Castiel will be here soon – he'll save you."

He hears his brother cry out another broken '_please_' and he wonders if it's directed at him or to the absent angel. He tries to open his eyes, but his lids have become impossibly heavy and he realizes quickly that no amount of straining will force them open. He knows then that the end is near; death is closer than it had been mere seconds before.

The rain is coming down faster, and he can feel his brother shaking as he sobs, from both terror and anger. He parts his lips, grateful that they are still doing his bidding, and gurgles a little on blood before clearing his throat enough to say,

"L've y-ou, D-De…"

"What? Oh, no. Nononono, you don't get to bust out the goodbye speech on me now, not after all we've been through. You're going to be fine, we'll be on the road again in no time – and we'll do whatever the Hell it is we want."

His brother continues to talk, rambling on about all the things they'll see, all the things they still have to do together.

"…I swear we're going to the Grand Canyon, Sammy. If Castiel would just _hurry the fuck up_, 'cause if he pulled me outta Hell, then he can heal ya, kiddo…and if saving the world from Lucifer doesn't buy ya a free pass than I don't know what will. So just hold on a little bit longer, okay? For me, Sammy."

His brother is holding his hand now, and he knows that the man is trying to disguise the fact that he's searching for a pulse. He manages to squeeze the fingers weakly, telling his brother that he'll hold on as long as he can.

He doesn't know if the angels can save him, doesn't know if the man upstairs even wants him saved – it doesn't matter, all he cares about right now is his brother. His sobbing, shaking, screaming brother – who's now pleading into his ear, begging him shamelessly to stay with him.

His breaths are few and far between, limbs trembling in agony.

An involuntary shudder travels through his body, causing his muscles to tense with pain. He wonders if this is it, because his brother's voice is fading, he can't feel the rain anymore, and his body doesn't hurt – but he still can't move. His eyes are open and he sees a face, looking down at him from over his brother's shoulder.

Her hair isn't wet from the rain; it's golden and shines without the sun. The face is round and youthful, eyes sparkling and full of light. It's Jess, and she smiles softly, placing a finger to her lips and blowing him a kiss. She trembles and her image fades into that of someone else.

Mary.

She is smiling as well, looking at him with pride. He wants to speak, let her know that he isn't mad about the deal, but his lips are unable to form words. Unlike Jess, she steps closer and kneels down beside him, a cool, but soothing finger running across his cheekbone.

He's not sure what's going on, but he continues to look at her wonderingly. And then, she speaks. Her voice is softer than the last time he had met her apparition, the words almost sound musical…beautiful to his ears.

"Angels are watching over you, too, Sammy." She whispers, and then…then she is gone. There's a flash, and he can make out Castiel, standing a great distance away, but he can still somehow see his face clearly.

The angel stares at him wordlessly before fading from sight. Warmth immediately fills him, reaching right to the tips of his toes, light baths him before everything goes black. He's not really sure what happened – what it _means_…not knowing until he hears an uncertain, shaking voice reach his ears.

"Sammy? Can you hear me?"

He opens his eyes – unable to remember exactly when he closed them again – and looks at his brother. Above them the sun has broken free from the angry clouds, a thin sliver of light shining down on them. "Dean." He whispers hoarsely.

His brother, emotionally drained, and half scared to death, sags with relief and lets out a choked laugh. He's dragged into a half seated position and pulled into a bone crushing hug. "You scared me, bitch." The ragged whisper comes within seconds. _(Love you, Sammy)_

And Sam smiles, tightening the hug even as he replies hoarsely, "Jerk." _(Back at ya, bro) _

_If I were to die today my life would be more then okay  
For the time that I spent with you  
Its like a dream come true  
If this was a last goodbye  
No more tears to dry  
I would say it one more time  
Its been more then fine  
How could've known  
How could've shown_

_-Say What You Will, Damhnait Doyle_

_**Finis**_

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(Cough) Ooookay…uhm, I seriously don't know what this was. Honestly, it was like word vomit – inspired by the image of a meadow and long grass. Uhm, what did ya think? I don't even know what to think about this piece!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: **He can't remember being this terrified in a long time – because his brother is slowly dying in his arms and there is nothing he can do to help him.

**Note: **So I decided to do a second chapter from Dean's point of view, thought it might be nice to see this through his eyes as well. Hopefully you enjoy the added chapter!

HUGE thanks to Twinny (aka twinchaosblade) who looked over this for me practically as soon as she returned from her vacation! You are totally awesome darling! (hugs)

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**Saved **

_**Part Two **_

He shivers against the wind, fresh wounds stinging as he sits cross-legged on the flattened grass. Sweat, grime and blood cover his face, but tears clear some of it away as they wind a path down his cheeks. His green eyes are wide and flickering with emotion as he ignores the wind and rolling clouds, his gaze focused on the center of his world.

His brother's head rests in his lap, and he runs a hand through wavy, dark brown hair that is currently limp – laden down with sweat and blood from a battle that is finally, _finally _over. He swallows past the lump in his throat and slowly rocks his sibling, hoping that the motion soothes the injured man like it did when they were kids.

He can tell that his brother is trying to relax, but the obvious agony he is in prevents him from loosening his tense muscles. He offers his wounded brother a smile, albeit a weak one, when he sees that the kid is looking up at him and blinking sluggishly.

He speaks, surprising himself when he realizes just how rough his voice sounds. His vocal cords itch and he figures it's due to all the yelling he's done throughout the last hour. "You're going to be okay." He hides a grimace when he hears the fear in his voice, knowing that his brother heard it too when the younger man attempts a crooked, reassuring smile.

His brother's body is broken beyond repair – there are too many injuries to count, and he feels sick at the sheer amount of blood the man has already lost. It is astounding that his brother has lasted as long as this. His eyes squeeze shut for a moment, flashes of the recent battle playing like a god damn montage through his head.

He remembers everything, every gory, bloody detail like he watched it a million times in high def. The demons, Ruby, walking into the battle with his brother standing tall and grim and so _grown up_ right beside him. He can recall every single injury he was on the receiving end of, can count the number of painful cries that had torn past his brothers lips.

He remembers Lilith and her high pitched giggle before it turned into a scream of surprise and terror…because his brother, in the truest sense of the word, had exploded. A white light had blinded everyone in the clearing, killing every single demon and hell spawn that had been too close.

A shiver that had nothing to do with the cold wind traveled down his spine as he recalled his brother collapsing onto the grass, where he had remained unmoving. He'd thought that his brother was dead.

Again.

Forcing the memory away and swiping at the tears that threaten to fall, he bites his lip and continues to rock his brother, whispering to him and trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. "Just stay with me, alright? Just stay with me…"

Terror squeezes his heart when his brother's only response is to cough up blood. The liquid sprays past pale lips and dribbles down chalk white skin, and still his brother stares up at him, trust and love, and a million other emotions in his fading eyes.

His brother is dying in him arms, bleeding uncontrollably in a meadow and hours away from any hospital. _I've got to do something, shit, shit, shit. Don't die on me, you can't die on me. We just won the god damn war – this isn't fair. Stay with me, staywithme staywithmestaywithme…_He continues the silent mantra in his head before shouting as loudly as his exhausted body will let him.

"CASTIEL!"

He looks around the meadow desperately, searching for any sign of the angel. Castiel is his brother's only hope at this point, and they both know it. A stray tear makes it all the way down his face, dripping off of his chin and landing on his brothers pale face as his head whips back and forth, hoping, _praying_ that Castiel is coming, because he isn't sure what he'll do if the angel doesn't.

He is barely aware that he's sobbing, clutching his brother as tightly as possible, his body is shaking as he cries for the whole world to see. He whispers reassurances to his brother, can hear the tremble in his voice as he screams for Castiel over and over again. The smooth, emotionless mask that he is so accustomed to wearing is gone completely, and he can't bring himself to care – because his baby brother is dying and he's supposed to make it all better but _he can't_.

He almost misses it, his breath hitching mid sob when his injured sibling's voice filters through.

"…Ddd-n."

The word is garbled and barely intelligible, but he hears his name plain as day. A small swell of hope bubbles in his chest, and he is quick to respond, smiling and running a hand through the dirty, long hair. "I'm gonna get Castiel, okay? Just stay awake, he'll make you all better."

The younger man doesn't respond, just blinks sluggishly with a thoughtful look on his pained face.

"Can you hear me kiddo? Look at me Sammy." He persists, desperate to get another verbal response from his brother – wanting, _needing _to hear his voice again. He can see that the kid is struggling to focus, lids fluttering as they struggle to stay open, mouth slightly agape as he fights grimly to pull air into his injured, starving lungs.

He looks at his brother's face, his gut twisting when he realizes that the younger man is looking up at the stormy sky with barely focused eyes. He murmurs his name worriedly, gently swiping away the blood that streaks clammy cheeks and squeezing the back of his neck – something he had done when they were kids.

It starts raining, the thunder rolling in louder as large droplets soak through his tattered t-shirt and into his skin. He swallows, panic blooming when his little brother's eyes flutter and close…and don't reopen. "Please Sam, open your eyes. Castiel will be here soon." He cries out, heart dropping to his toes when the body beneath him relaxes.

A wild sense of terror and anger grips him as he struggles not to completely lose his composure, unable to stop himself from crying out another choked, _"please" _when he receives no immediate answer.

"L've y-ou, D-De…"

That was not the response he had wanted to hear, because there was resignation and defeat in his brother's whispered words, and the coldness that had started small in his chest grows wider. He tries to deny the statement, not ready to accept the fact that this was it – because even though Castiel hadn't shown his face yet there was still hope. God, there was still _hope_.

And so, he rejects the words, not ready to hear his brother's dying thoughts just yet. There was still time, god damn it! "What? Oh, no. Nononono, you don't get to bust out the goodbye speech on me now, not after all we've been through. You're going to be fine, we'll be on the road again in no time – and we'll do whatever the Hell it is we want."

He's rambling and he knows it, but he doesn't care s'long as his brother keeps on listening. "…I swear we're going to the Grand Canyon, Sammy. If Castiel would just _hurry the fuck up_, 'cause if he pulled me outta Hell, then he can heal ya, kiddo…and if saving the world from Lucifer doesn't buy ya a free pass, then I don't know what will. So just hold on a little bit longer, okay? For me, Sammy."

As he speaks, his hand snakes its way into his brother's, and he feels for the reassuring thump in the cool wrist. It's weak – barely there at all, but he can feel it, and right now he'll take what he can get. _Please don't leave me dude, I won't be able to take it. _"Hang in there." He finishes softly.

His brother is beyond the ability to respond, his whole body has started to twitch and spasm, and he can see the pain lines in his exhausted face. He grips a broad shoulder in an attempt to ground him, exaggerating his breathing when he sees that the kid is struggling even worse now. "Breathe with me Sammy." He encourages desperately, but his brother doesn't hear him.

A final shudder runs through his little brothers long, lean frame, and suddenly he can't find a pulse, and his brother isn't struggling to breathe anymore, and his mind is screaming _DO SOMETHING _even as he just sits there with a shocked look on his face.

"No, nonononono! Don't…don't _do _this to me. Sammy, Sam…SAM!" He finally utters, shaking the body in his arms roughly. It's pointless and he knows it, but it doesn't stop his heart from breaking all over again when his little brothers head simply rolls limply with the movement, grimy bangs falling in front of closed, dark-ringed eyes.

And for one ridiculous moment all he can think about is how the taller man really needs a haircut.

The thought is fleeting and gone the next moment, and then he is left alone with the harsh reality – his brother is dead, and this time there will be no demons to barter with. The loss he feels is tremendous and crushing and he is so consumed by it that he barely feels the warmth of the sun on his back.

He doesn't see that the clouds are parting; that the sun is peaking through, that the wind has died down or that the rain has completely stopped. The angel that he had been calling so desperately for is barely 15 meters away, and yet he does not see him.

He doesn't notice a thing until he feels his brother breathe. He stares in shock, noting that the grievous wounds that had marred his sibling's body are now non-existent, he can see the color returning to his pale cheeks and his breathing is deep and even. It's almost like the past god-awful ten minutes had been nothing more than an illusion – but he knows better than to believe that.

His voice is rough and gravelly when his throat finally unclenches enough to speak, "Sammy? Can you hear me?" it's all he can manage to say without his voice breaking right then and there. He waits a couple of seconds, studying the younger face, holding his breath as he waits for a response.

Blue-green eyes flutter open, clear and aware as they look up at him, confusion evident on his still slightly pale face. "Dean."

Dean barks out a choked laugh and drags his brother up so that he can wrap his arms around the kid's broad chest. He hugs his brother tightly and squeezes his eyes shut to stop himself from crying. "You scared me, bitch." He finally manages to growl out, lips twitching into a smile when he hears the typical Sam-like reply.

"Jerk."

**End**

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Well, there it is. I hope it wasn't too repetitive for any of you. I tried to challenge myself by not using the brother's names until the end (in both chapters). Hopefully this chapter was not too similar to the first one.

Thanks for reading!


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